When YOU are more than enough....

“….Played the role of a bad girl and snuck some boys out the back door. So somebody would love me-I got smart and start thinking I wasn’t smiling or feeling free. This ain’t love, yo and I ain’t happy”
-“Run and Hide” by Algebra

As women I think we can all relate to times where went through extremes to be accepted, admired, loved and put ourselves in ridiculous and sometimes dangerous situations just to feel a little bit of that validation.
And you don’t necessarily have to be from a broken home where Daddy was gone, have been touched inappropriately or otherwise abused to find yourself making a fool out of yourself all in the name of love and acceptance.

You can, like me, come from a loving two-parent household in middle-income America, having never been molested or abused-the usual explanations for irrational behavior in relationships. Yet, there were many situations in which I interacted with the opposite sex and allowed myself to be humiliated de-valued and under-appreciated.

I have played the “other woman”, a “jump off” and also been through other situations that I am not yet comfortable to write about. (Although it was nothing as serious as what many women go through) Some situations I can look at and laugh at, but a lot of them I cringe at because I don’t understand how I allowed myself to get so caught up in receiving love from somebody else that I forgot to love me.

But fortunately, there comes a time in every woman’s life where that stuff will get played out. There will be a time when that little nagging voice in your head that says” this isn’t right” turns into a shout you will no longer be able to ignore. Where your need to grow as a woman, as a spiritual being will overshadow your need to settle for less just to avoid being alone.

I just turned 26 and I am at a point where I no longer want to find myself in the same scenarios making the same mistakes I did at 19, 21, and heck even last week.

When you get that feeling within you hold on tightly to it. Hold on to it and press replay every time you catch yourself running back to a situation or person you said you would never come back to. Get to the point when You are not only enough, you are overflowing with too much love for yourself to allow yourself to settle for less, where it is ok (and sometimes preferable) to be alone on a Saturday night.

Strive for this, not just for the hopes of a future soul mate or your growth- but for the sake of your own sanity.